Do I raise my voice and risk getting hurt or do I keep quiet and let it keep on happening, hoping that it will eventually stop? This question many South African women ask themselves.
Every day we hear of women who have been involved in domestic violence. Often it is too brutal to voice and often it is too subtle, barely visible. However, the reality is that it is not taken to heart. We fail to realise how serious the matter is - until someone close to us is the brave victim who choose to speak up.
The fight to end gender-based violence is both simple but also highly complex.
It is simple because violence against women can be brought to an immediate end if every man makes the conscious decision never to harm a woman - and lives by that decision.
Unfortunately, getting to that point is immeasurably more intricate.
Far too many men refuse to confront the problem. They fabricate distractions and play the innocent victim. Various reasons are given for their behaviour. It varies from the so-called “indecent” clothes worn by women to frustrations at work.
The line "cover up" has been fed to us ever since we can remember. Those two words alone have created the mindset we have today that women are sexually assaulted because of what they wear. Women are told that when they were "asking for it". To that we can only say that our clothes are NOT our consent!
It is ludicrous to think that being frustrated at work can even be used as an excuse. It has nothing to do with women. Females also experience anger and frustration but rarely translate it into domestic violence. Do not get me wrong. Certainly it does happen, but statistics show that one out of nine men are assaulted compared to one out of four women who are victims.
Aside from sexual abuse, there are many other ways that gender-based violence can occur. There are physical, mental and emotional abuse. In South Africa, however, the main perpetrators are those men who sexually abuse women. Women have been struggling with this situation for quite a while now. Since social media and the media are more prepared to discuss this in public, government and various organisations have taken great measures to stop gender-based violence. The 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence is an international campaign to challenge violence against women and girls. This campaign runs every year from 25 November, the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women and Children, to 10 December, Human Rights Day. These awareness movements have raised funds to help these women get back on their feet after leaving their abusers. Unfortunately we still hear about it happening daily.
"How is that possible?” you may ask.
The most straightforward and honest answer is that neither are we a willing to change nor willing to put in the effort and try.
These misogynistic and sexist attitudes lead men to believe they are superior to women and that it justifies their actions.
It frightens me to think that this has been our reality for so long. We are constantly living in fear. We are scared to go anywhere alone. We are petrified to be alive. - Grace F
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